Fear

          I was a young kid, propped up on my parent's bed. My dad was setting up the family computer and starting to play Marilyn Manson’s The Beautiful People music video online. I was horror-struck. My heart awakened as I watched Manson’s face distort and shake across the screen. I felt fear running through me, but I couldn’t understand why.  I had heard the song a million times before. What made this particular experience so gripping? There was something about the quickness of his movements, maybe the tall ladies on stilts dancing in that weathered room, or the old, metal dental equipment filling Manson’s mouth as he sang. I have since been bewitched with all things horror, and I am constantly chasing that same sense of fear that came over me all that time ago. Because this burning interest in the uncomfortable and fearsome has stuck with me, I have created this collection of both digital and analog photographs in an attempt to evoke that same feeling I had watching that music video as a child: To create that car crash moment, when you want to look away but something keeps your eyes locked on the images. 
          I started creating these images my freshman year of college and have made additions to the collection throughout my college career. In the process of making these images, I wanted to stray from the excessive editing or graphic content that creates a commercialized sense of what makes something “scary.” I instead set out to create simplistic compositions with harsh contrast to create a dramatic effect without tipping the scale into something campy or gaudy. I use the human body as a subject and blur the lines between reality and fiction, beauty and horror, seductiveness and the uncomfortable. Much like the music video all that time ago, these photographs motivate me in my photographic journey. While I find myself experimenting with my style and technique, I always come back to this project.